no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
