He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
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Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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