bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
