I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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