So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
