i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's rum buckets o'clock
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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