Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize