i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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