i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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