I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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