remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
