my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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