3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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