i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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