Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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