Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
