Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
