I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize