Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
