'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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