I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
