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• (310): View more from California

  i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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• (646): View more from New York

  Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  I hope you fall on your chin.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Jealousy makes you ugly.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.

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• (925): View more from California

  ...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'll bring spiced rum

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I am not drinking that devil juice

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