Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
