I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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