Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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