Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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