I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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