Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
All I want is dick and wine.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
