i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
