I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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