do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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