There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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