Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
