he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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