thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize