Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
