Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
its liver damage thursday
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