We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
