I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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