Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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