I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
