Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
