I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
its not stalking. its research.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
