and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize