i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
stop calling my apartment porn island.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
