I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize