they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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