i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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