Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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