dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!