Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
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Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
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LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom