he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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