My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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