Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Who died my cat blue again?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
