There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
