i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
