Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
