evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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